«I thought I would take it easy»
Giving up responsibility is not easy. Simone Steiner and Paolo Boni explain how they are raising their two daughters to be independent.
Paolo: «Zoe is getting to an age where taking on responsibility is becoming topical - with duties such as tidying the room or preparing the bar.»
I have resolved to let Zoe run aground too.
Simone: «The teacher advised us to let Zoe take responsibility for the school supplies. But if we didn't remind her, she would forget what she needed to take with her. I've resolved to let her run riot from time to time. Then she'll bear the consequences. When it comes to homework, we often forget to ask if there's anything left to do. Sometimes she has to finish something at the last minute in the evening.»
Paolo: «Well, I still had trouble organising my time when I started university. Children sometimes need guidance, some, including Zoe, a little more than others.»
Simone: «For example, we prepare the girls' clothes in the morning. It seems to me that this is necessary - because otherwise Zoe would go to school in a woollen jumper in the heat, as she was planning to do recently.»
As a parent, you have to keep at it, insist on things. You don't always have the energy for that.
Paolo: «The girls are just used to this service. Zoe puts on what we've got ready, while Luna starts to put her foot down. Maybe we should stay out of it more. Sometimes, as parents, you intervene to save yourself discussions. As a parent, you're constantly cleaning up after them. If you want the children to do it on their own, you have to keep at it and insist on things. You don't always have the energy for that.»
Simone: «Tidying up Zoe's room works quite well. Luna is still too small.»
Paolo: «On the one hand, I would be happy if the girls were a bit more independent, but on the other hand, the idea scares me. I used to think I would be a relaxed father who would take it easy when the children went off on their own. But that's not true, and it amazes me. My mum was 20 when I was born, I had a lot of freedom and I made the most of it - until I broke my fifth bone.»
Simone: «I was independent much earlier than our girls. My mum was a single parent, there was no other way. But I try to encourage my daughters - Zoe, for example, to take the five-minute bus journey to acrobatics class on her own. She doesn't want to do that yet. On the other hand, she likes to stay at home alone for an hour.»
Paolo: «Zoe is very cautious about new things. Sometimes I wish she had more self-confidence. I often worry about Luna because risks don't scare her off. She's a daredevil and has already broken a leg. Recently, she wanted to hang upside down from the climbing frame - at a height of four metres!»
