«I ran out of time»
Kerstin, 41, is happy about modern reproductive medicine: she owes her daughters to a sperm and embryo donation. How did this come about?
"Our odyssey began in 2008: I was 32, successful in my career and had moved around. Now my partner and I wanted children. But I didn't get pregnant. Luckily, I had a gynaecologist who sent us for tests instead of letting us keep trying. As the results showed, that wouldn't have helped: my partner was infertile. We decided in favour of sperm donation and got married so that we could make use of this option. My first insemination took place a short time later. Our child was only conceived after the sixth insemination. The joy was immense. Anna* was born in 2013.
She wasn't going to be an only child, that was clear to me. One year after Anna's birth, I started the first insemination cycle. Eight treatments were unsuccessful. I was 38 and time was running out. I urged my partner to undergo artificial insemination (IVF) in the hope of increasing my chances of getting pregnant. He reluctantly agreed. IVF cycles are physically stressful, and the whole thing also took its toll on me psychologically, especially as I didn't get pregnant. At some point, my husband said he would no longer take part.
"Our story is not a secret."
I was faced with a choice: our marriage or another child. I decided in favour of the latter. And looked for alternatives. After a counselling session at a Spanish clinic, I opted for embryo donation. At the end of 2015, I travelled to Spain for the embryo transfer, and nine months later I gave birth to Aline.
Our story is no secret. My ex-husband and I explained to Anna early on that there was a dear man thanks to whose help she was with us. There are very nice children's books for this, among other things. Aline has one too. My ex-husband and I have a good relationship, and I'm very happy about that. I'm grateful for my daughters and excited to see where our journey will take us. I've kept the baby clothes to be on the safe side ..."
Read more:
- Struggling to have children - Regula and Thomas Körner became parents with the help of surrogate mothers
- The family model is becoming more diverse!What will the family of the future look like?