«I live with mummy - and daddy»
As an expectant father, Robert realised that he would reduce his work as a computer scientist. His wife Mara wanted to continue working part-time in her profession as an accountant in a small SME. When their first child was born, Robert reduced his workload to 80 per cent, Mara initially reduced her workload to 20 per cent and later increased it to 40 per cent after the second child had started compulsory schooling. On one of Mara's two working days, Robert stayed at home with the children, while the second day the children spent with a childminder who lives in the neighbourhood.
Various childcare models
The children are now ten and seven years old, and their parents' marriage is in crisis: Robert and Mara want to separate. Once this important decision has been made, the discussion about reorganising their family life begins. Robert wants to keep his «daddy day» in the future. However, he would prefer to extend his childcare hours and reduce his workload even further. Although Mara is happy to have his support, she also realises that the separation will result in additional costs for two separate households.
When parents separate, the reorganisation of childcare often comes into play in addition to the financial worries. The parents are very free to organise their own arrangements. If they are in agreement, the court or child protection authority will not question the division of care - unless it is clear that the child's welfare will suffer as a result. A distinction is generally made between the residential model, the nest model and alternating custody.
In the nest model, the children stay in the home and the parents take turns.
The residential model gives the child a clear centre of life with one parent. At certain times, the child «visits» the other parent at their home and spends time with them during holidays. Many divorcing parents choose the residential model, for example because it corresponds to the previously lived division of roles or because the geographical distance between the parents' places of residence does not allow any other childcare model.
In the so-called nest model, the children stay in the same flat or house and the parents take turns looking after the children there. At the same time, the parents are responsible for two households - that of the children and their own.
This model would be advantageous for the children, as they are always allowed to stay in the same environment. However, there are high demands on the parents: on the one hand, the mother and father must have generous financial resources, and on the other hand, they must be able to cooperate extremely well, as they have to take turns running the children's household in constant consultation with each other. For this reason, hardly any families choose this form of childcare.
Alternating care requires flexibility from the children.
Alternating care aims to ensure that both parents look after the children at the same time. The children change from one parent to the other at regular intervals - often every few days or after a week. This solution requires a certain degree of flexibility from the children, which is more or less available depending on their personality. Due to the frequent changes between the parents, a conflict-free handover must also be possible, especially for young children.
Online dossier Separation:
What does the right to apply for alternating custody look like?
With the provisions on child maintenance, which have been in force since 1 January 2017, an explicit right to apply for alternating custody was introduced into the Civil Code. If a parent submits a corresponding application, this must be examined by the courts. The court or authority must make a judgement as to whether the care solution chosen by the parents is in the best interests of the child.
In order to make this prognosis, the court uses a broad catalogue of criteria. On the parental side, the father and mother must be able to bring up their children according to their needs and abilities. They must be able to make joint arrangements and work together to an extent that allows them (the children) to cope with everyday life together. Alternating care requires more organisational agreements and mutual information than other forms of care. The greater the need for coordination - especially with younger children - the greater the demands on parents.
The journey to school must be manageable
Robert and Mara do not question each other's parenting skills. They are also aware that they do not want to pass on their marital problems to their children. In this respect, they can talk objectively about their children and give each other the necessary information.
Furthermore, the geographical distance between their homes must be small enough for the children to be able to travel to school from both homes.
Robert is happy to look for a flat in the same neighbourhood so that the children can commute easily between the flats.
Staying in the same neighbourhood would also meet another criterion, namely stability in the social environment and as much personal care as possible from the parents. The same carers would still be responsible for the children. If the separation of the parents is already a burden for children, a possible change in their social environment and care structures also makes it more difficult for them to cope with this challenging reorganisation of the family.
The courts must take the children's wishes into account.
Robert and Mara discuss their preferences and wishes with their children. For example, their childcare solution takes into account the fact that their son still wants to play football on Saturdays and twice a week. The courts also have to take the children's wishes into account when making a sovereign decision. If Robert and Mara can reach an agreement together that also meets the needs and wishes of the children, this lays an important foundation for a sustainable solution.
Ideal conditions for alternating care:
- Vater und Mutter können ihr Kind an dessen Bedürfnissen und Fähigkeiten orientiert erziehen.
- Die Eltern können betreffend Fragen der Kinder zusammenarbeiten und miteinander sprechen.
- Die geografische Distanz zwischen den Eltern lässt eine alternierende Betreuung zu. • Die persönliche Betreuung der jungen Kinder beziehungsweise bei zunehmendem Alter die Stabilität des sozialen Umfelds wird durch diese Lösung gewahrt.
- Der Wunsch des Kindes darf ebenfalls in den Entscheid einfliessen.
Depending on the age of the child, the different requirements are given different weight. The decision should not be based on the interests of the parents, but on the best interests of the child.
