How tightly should parents control their child's mobile phone?
Having their own mobile phone increases the risk of a child coming across unsuitable content. This is when conversations are needed.
When it comes to data on a child's mobile phone, parents have to strike a balance between trust and control. I don't always find this so easy. Certainly, when it comes to the question of what can and cannot be viewed on the internet, the case is clear. Pornography, for example, can be prevented reasonably reliably with the appropriate parental control programmes.
However, in my experience, group chats in particular are often also filled with sensitive content. A child quickly comes across a video or image that they find fascinating - because it is forbidden - and share in the chat. The film doesn't even have to be a download from the internet, but could be a video of a playground brawl that they shot themselves.
Parents need to ask themselves where the child's - justified - right to privacy ends and the parental duty of care takes precedence. The answer to this question naturally also depends on the child's age. If the child reaches puberty, the emphasis on privacy should be higher than for a 10 or 12-year-old.
Family council on the topic
We have found a pragmatic approach in our family that works well for everyone involved at the moment. We parents discuss the chat history of the past week with our children once a week. The children have a right of veto if they don't want us to see anything. I try to have this conversation as equally as possible.
Children do not learn how to deal with sensitive content if they are simply forbidden to do anything.
When I notice something, I ask: What happened there? How do you feel when you watch this video? Does something about this image bother you? What would it be like for you if a video like this was published? These questions often lead to discussions that give me a deeper insight into the emotional world of my children. And very often the children are quite right to judge scenes as problematic.
Media literacy is one of the most important cultural skills for children today, alongside reading and writing.
Children will not learn how to deal with sensitive content if they are simply forbidden to do anything. Adults should therefore provide guidance and support and offer their advice when categorising disturbing or sensitive content. In this way, they promote children's media literacy - one of the most important cultural skills today alongside reading and writing.
