«How do you reconcile everything?»
I tell
"When we became parents, I was 29 and felt ready for it. Everything was right: we had established ourselves professionally, had travelled and had been a couple since we were teenagers. It was clear to me that I wanted to reduce my workload to 80 per cent - to make it easier for Janina to return to work, but also to take on responsibility in everyday family life. Friday has always been daddy day for us. On two other days, my parents-in-law take over while Janina works.
Janina and I come from intact, very harmonious families where people look after each other well. That is my greatest wish: to be able to offer my children the same environment, a home that is characterised by a positive atmosphere and gives them a sense of security. As a father, I try to make them feel that they can come to me with whatever is bothering them. And there are a few values that I want to pass on to them: decency, a certain will to persevere, a down-to-earth attitude. We're not particularly eccentric people, we try to focus on the essentials.
When I'm travelling alone with the children, it happens that people show some form of appreciation, for example saying that they think it's nice how I look after them as a dad. That makes me happy. I know that women in a similar situation are not applauded for this. Mothers, it seems to me, are better organised than fathers. Spare clothes, provisions, plasters: nothing gets forgotten. I often leave things lying around. I don't think too much about whether a route is too long or whether ice skating with two small children is too strenuous. I just go.
I read an article recently about fathers and the many roles they have to fulfil. I don't feel any pressure, but I do have one question on my mind: how do you reconcile everything? Nine years have passed since my last training programme. You have to stay on the ball, otherwise you'll be overwhelmed at some point. But how do you do it? Do I do the training on top of my job and cancel my daddy day? Or would you rather reduce it to 60 per cent? I want to be there for my family, but I don't want to be seen as lazy at work either. Since the coronavirus crisis, I've often worked from home. If I don't have to travel to work in Zurich, we can have lunch together as a family and I can be there for the children earlier in the evening. This allows me to share many everyday moments with them, which I really appreciate."
Read more about fathers:
- Special for fathers: Focus on dad
Once upon a time, the mother was seen as the sole carer for the child. Fortunately, times have changed. Thanks to social developments, but also thanks to new fathers who are breaking with old patterns and are not content to play a spectator role in their children's lives. That's how it is for the men in the family. - «Fathers used to be the gateway to the outside world»
Europe's best-known fatherhood researcher Wassilios Fthenakis says that fathers parent differently to mothers. Where the differences lie and why they have more to do with our society than the male gender. - Dad tips from a pro
Fatherhood researcher and father Wassilios Fthenakis explains what can help men in everyday life to strengthen their relationship with their offspring. - «I am an exotic»
Mauro Castrigno, 38, father of Gilda, 5, and Lino, 3, is a stay-at-home dad. His wife Jennifer, 41, works full-time as a police detective.
They live in Rikon ZH. - «I never saw fatherhood as a burden»
Dean Treml, 54, from Sulz LU raised his first children Isaac, 33, and Danielle, 32, alone. Latecomer Diego, 5, now with his wife Romina, 37. - «The weekend with my family is sacred to me»
Daniel Bissegger, 44, from Dürnten in the Zurich Oberland is very busy in his management position at a bank. As a father, the husband of Nathalie, 40, and dad to David, 10, and Joline, 7, wants one thing above all else: not just to be there, but to be present.