How do children aged 8 to 12 develop?

Still a child, soon to be a teenager - this is how you could summarise middle childhood from eight to twelve. Ego development becomes more important for children in this age group. They often dream of being able to cope on their own. Some think about what kind of life they will lead and what kind of person they will be one day. They set out in search of their place in the world.

The process of self-discovery demands a lot from most children. Although friends of the same age play an increasingly important role in children's lives at this age, their parents remain their closest confidants and most important carers.

Physical development: Weight and height vary greatly in this age range, as each child grows individually. Motor skills improve independently of this. Coordination and dexterity grow.

The children are increasingly able to perform complex movements, improve their fine motor skills and refine their body control. Some children take up a sport and join a club. This benefits their physical development in any case. The feeling of mastery also boosts self-confidence.

Social skills and relationships: Social skills develop strongly at this age. Children between the ages of eight and twelve begin to understand and manage complex social interactions. They develop a deeper understanding of other people's perspectives and are increasingly able to show empathy. The importance of friendships increases and children begin to build and maintain their own relationships with their peers.

In order to explore and regulate themselves, it is important for children that their everyday lives are not completely synchronised.

Claudia Roebers, Professor of Developmental Psychology

They learn to manage conflicts, make compromises and communicate their own needs and wishes. However, bullying can also be a problem. It is important to support children in their social interactions and teach them how to treat each other with respect.

Heidi Simoni, a psychologist specialising in psychotherapy, says: «Children already have expectations when it comes to dealing with conflicts at around the age of five. They can tell the difference between a two-year-old getting violent and a child of the same age. They tend to be more tolerant with young children. With their peers, they expect them to be able to express themselves verbally and not just hit them.»

Cognitive development: Cognitive development is characterised by an increasing ability to think abstractly. Children begin to recognise complex relationships and solve problems on a more abstract level. Their memory improves and they can memorise information over a longer period of time. The acquisition of cultural techniques such as reading, writing and arithmetic takes centre stage.

Logical thinking and the ability to adopt perspectives increase in the course of middle childhood, enabling children to adopt different viewpoints and understand increasingly complex viewpoints. However, these abilities are also individual and therefore vary greatly. Oskar Jenni, paediatrician and professor of developmental paediatrics: «When it comes to perspective-taking, for example, the weakest children at the age of twelve are as good as the best five-year-olds.»

Interests and boredom: Children are generally curious and interested by nature. At this age, they often develop their own interests and actively seek out new experiences. Boredom or disinterest can occur if the activities on offer have no relevance for the child or if they feel underchallenged. However, defensive reactions are also possible if a child is expected to cope with too much leisure and school stress and feels overwhelmed.

«Studies show that it is important for children's self-regulation that their everyday lives are not completely synchronised. These so-called «overscheduled children» have too little time to explore and regulate themselves,» says Claudia Roebers, Professor of Developmental Psychology.

Fears and attachment: Fears at this age relate to everyday childhood issues. Some children are afraid of failing at school. They are afraid of not making friends or losing friendships. Many children experience insecurities and self-doubt as they develop their identity. Their growing knowledge can also lead to fears of real dangers such as violence, accidents or natural disasters.

Strict rules at this age lead to children distancing themselves from their parents.

«Children are constantly testing their abilities and limits at this age, and this leads to unknown situations that can trigger anxiety,» says Moritz Daum, Professor of Developmental Psychology. «It's important to help children deal with their fears by listening to them, not smiling at them, but taking them seriously and offering them security and support.»

Sexuality: Sexuality begins to develop at this age and children can develop their first questions and curiosity. The time at which hormonal and physical changes become apparent varies from child to child. In boys, the visible changes begin on average at the age of 12 to 13, while in girls the first signs of puberty are usually visible much earlier. It is important to give children age-appropriate and correct information in this regard and to signal that questions about physical changes can be discussed openly.

In general, it is particularly important to communicate openly and respectfully with children during this developmental phase, also in order to lay the foundations for good relationships during puberty. Rigid rules lead to children distancing themselves from their parents from this age onwards. «Many children don't say how they really feel at home, but keep what's bothering them inside. And that in turn leads to loneliness and feelings of shame,» says Swedish family therapist Hedvig Montgomery.