How bullying arises

The 5 most important findings on bullying:

• There is no way out of bullying without the help of adults.

• The silence of all those affected perpetuates bullying.

• There is no difference between town and country.

• In every class there are one or two victims of bullying and corresponding perpetrators.

• There is no influence of school and class size on bullying.

• In the event of bullying, contact school social work.

How does bullying occur in a classroom? What provides a breeding ground for it? And why is it often recognised so late? One thing is clear: bullying usually occurs in heterogeneous, closed groups such as school classes. People may know each other, but there is little cohesion between them. This allows the individual members a clear allocation of roles and the victim, especially at school, hardly any opportunities to escape. Bullying is about power: there is always an imbalance between the victim of bullying and the perpetrator or perpetrators.

This can be due to cognitive, physical or social characteristics, but also due to the many helpers or assistants who support the perpetrator. They actively help by also exposing or laughing at the victim. They amuse themselves at the victim's expense without realising that they are harming them. These assistants, also known as enablers or hangers-on, gain a certain amount of prestige and influence through their proximity to the offender. At the same time, they can hand over a lot of responsibility to the main offender and have the certainty that they will not be bullied.

Other children, on the other hand, passively watch the bullying, which clearly has a reinforcing effect, as the perpetrator feels legitimised in his behaviour. If he realises that his behaviour is not approved of, but nobody does anything about it, he clearly feels his power. As the victim of bullying is determined, the reinforcers, just like the assistants, feel safe from becoming victims themselves.

A large proportion of the class often belongs to the group of amplifiers. These are children who cannot decide in favour of one side or the other, who are torn between sympathy for the perpetrator and pity for the victim. On the one hand, they feel a certain satisfaction when others are bullied, but on the other hand, they don't dare to stand up for the victim because they are afraid of becoming victims of bullying themselves.

Reinforcers often feel under a lot of peer pressure because they don't want to stand alone. For these reasons, they play a central role in the bullying process. Through them, bullying can take on enormous dimensions without anyone interrupting the process.

A common enemy creates solidarity

A classroom climate characterised by a lack of clear rules and a conflict-averse and uncommitted teacher who tolerates aggressive behaviour encourages bullying. In addition, there may be a social structure in a class that cannot do without victims. Cohesion is basically weak, but a common enemy creates a certain bond.

The perpetrator usually chooses their victim deliberately. Typical victims of bullying are pupils who stand out from the rest of the class due to a disability, speech impediment, physical characteristics or out-of-fashion clothing. Insecure and anxious children are also at risk. However, there is often also an underlying conflict and hostility in the classroom.

Once the victim has been chosen, the next step is to experiment with how far the classroom norms can be violated. The reactions of the various classmates will determine whether such bullying attacks continue or not.

If the attacks can continue and the roles are distributed, the social class norms are redefined by the perpetrators. The attacks on the victim are increasingly perceived as normal and justified. They can be verbal, non-verbal (through gestures) or physical through forms of physical violence or damage to property. The forms of attack are often mixed. In any case, they have the clear intention of causing harm to the victim.

Breaking the spiral of violence

The victim's reputation is deliberately damaged and communication with the other children is hindered. While the perpetrator gains more and more recognition through the demonstration of power, the victim is increasingly isolated and forced into the role of outsider. The bullied children are usually ashamed of being outsiders and do not confide in their parents or teachers. Sometimes they don't even want to admit their status to themselves or they don't even recognise it. This shows how difficult it is for outsider adults to uncover the unfortunate situation and the immense suffering of the child.

While the perpetrator is increasingly recognised through the demonstration of power, the victim is increasingly isolated and forced into the role of outsider.

Studies show that the more children use violence against a single victim, the less responsibility each individual child in the perpetrator group bears. This is in contrast to a single perpetrator who bears the responsibility alone. Persistent bullying (sometimes over years!) devalues the victim more and more in the eyes of the social environment and eventually the attacks are even seen as justified. Nobody wants to have anything more to do with him.

As the victim is being watched more closely at the same time, they become even more insecure and make more mistakes as a result. A vicious circle! Resolution without adults is practically impossible. Yet eighty per cent of teachers do not realise that bullying is happening. Of the twenty per cent who do realise it, only a fifth intervene. The reasons why teachers do not intervene may be as follows: they underestimate the emergency situation, do not know how to help or blame the child.

Clear rules against violence

Victims of bullying usually lose their unpleasant status after moving to a new school. However, if the victim of bullying leaves a class, they are usually replaced by a new scapegoat.

Bullying children in particular need to have their behaviour clearly pointed out to them, as they are often unaware of how seriously hurtful and distressing it is for their victims.

However, this could be counteracted, for example, by the teacher working with the class to draw up rules against violence. It is important that the pupils take part in the discussion and engage with the topic. Children should come up with their own suggestions and ideas on how to consciously counteract marginalisation and bring these into the classroom.

A clear rule could be: We don't bully other children! Or: We make an effort to include pupils who are being marginalised! The aim of the discussion is to awaken empathy for the victims of bullying and encourage them to think. Children and young people are often not in a position to make contact with others themselves or to react appropriately when they are contacted.

All pupils are required to live by these rules in their everyday lives so that an understanding of non-violent behaviour slowly emerges. Bullying children in particular must have their behaviour clearly pointed out to them, as they are often unaware of how seriously hurtful and distressing it is for their victims.

Role plays on violent situations are also an excellent way of demonstrating reaction mechanisms. These illustrate what so-called neutral pupils can do in such situations. Such hints to teachers should never be presented as tattling. Because without such hints, it is hardly possible for teachers to recognise bullying, as it usually takes place covertly. Cyberbullying, often anonymous and even more painful While conventional bullying, as it takes place at school, ends at home, bullying in social media such as emails, chats or Facebook, so-called cyberbullying, takes place around the clock. It never allows the victim to rest, which increases their suffering many times over.

Cyberbullying can be a continuation of bullying at school with a known perpetrator or can also occur as anonymous behaviour by individual pupils against others. Often also against teachers. Studies show that there is a connection between traditional bullying in the classroom and in the virtual world.

Nevertheless, the victim is never sure who wrote or read the degrading vulgarities. This makes people suspicious in the sense of: If people laugh in my presence, are they laughing at me? Snide looks and hand gestures: Are they directed at me? If you know how important healthy social interactions are for the development of children and young people, it is clear that bullying is difficult for the child concerned to endure over a long period of time.

The majority of young people spend their free time on the Internet. Surfing the virtual world is many people's favourite leisure activity. This includes socialising on social networks in particular. For girls in particular, chatting on social networks is an ideal means of socialising. This form of media is the epitome of youth culture for young people and represents a major challenge for them as well as for parents and teachers.

For this reason, an examination of media behaviour is essential. Studies show that young people are aware of the problem of cyberbullying. However, their reaction to it varies greatly. Some young people turn away after being bullied online. Others strike back virtually. Still others also become perpetrators of bullying.

As the perpetrators of online bullying often remain unrecognised, it is almost impossible for victims to track down their opponents. One possible solution is to change the e-mail address or mobile phone number. Another option is to ask the Internet provider to delete the offending posts. They are legally obliged to do so.

Most social networks have now set up a complaints system so that you can arrange for it to be deleted. However, even if the insults have been deleted from the internet, they often continue to exist in the minds of those involved and the victim's image may even be permanently damaged. Users also often download the humiliating images, texts or videos to their private computers, where they can no longer be deleted by Facebook and other social networks.

If a closed group in a chat is mobbing someone, there is no chance of stopping the bullying. Without an invitation to the chat, the victim will not find out what is going on behind their back. Reports to the police only make sense if the bullies are known. Educational concept for dealing with social media Due to the great uncertainty in dealing with the Internet, it is advisable to start early with the introduction of a media education concept and to incorporate this into school lessons. The first priority here is to raise awareness of how to handle personal data and photos. This is already the case in many schools today. But above all, parents have a duty to inform their children about the dangers of social media when they buy a mobile phone or smartphone and to protect them from them.

Bullying and cyberbullying are serious forms of violence that can destroy a child or young person. Resolving bullying is practically impossible without the support of adults. So let's take a close look! Let's give our children and young people the education and protection they deserve!