How a highly sensitive child thrives

Emotional outbursts after a long day at nursery, extreme difficulty calming down again, or spending hours shut away in their bedroom: if children repeatedly react strongly, they may be highly sensitive.

They are not alone in this; depending on the study, between 15 and 30 per cent of people share this trait. When parents or carers recognise that a child is hypersensitive, they can better understand the signs of inner distress and help the child cope with feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated.

A highly sensitive person is bombarded with so much information that at some point they feel it's all too much.

Michael Plüss, developmental psychologist

Hypersensitivity, often referred to as heightened sensory processing sensitivity, is not a disorder but a personality trait. It has both positive and negative effects. «We are all sensitive to some extent, but the intensity varies across a very broad spectrum,» says Michael Plüss, a developmental psychologist at Queen Mary University of London.

Heightened sensory sensitivity can manifest itself in the following ways: sensitivity to sounds, light or smells, as well as a heightened attention to detail, a high degree of empathy and emotional perceptiveness. Highly sensitive people process more information and details about the world than people who are not highly sensitive. «A lot of information floods in on a person and at a certain point they feel that it is too much,» observes Michael Plüss.

Highly sensitive children need support

Whilst highly sensitive adults may, at best, develop helpful coping strategies over the years, children with this trait need support. According to Plüss, children are at increased risk of overstimulation because they have barely developed any coping strategies and are less able to control their environment than adults.

A questionnaire is available for adults to help them assess their own level of sensitivity. Plüss and his research colleagues have adapted this questionnaire to identify highly sensitive children. The «Highly Sensitive Child» scale was developed for parents and carers of children and young people aged between eight and eighteen. Its effectiveness in identifying high sensitivity has recently been confirmed. Respondents are asked to indicate whether the content of twelve statements applies to them or not.

The scale covers a range of situations in a stimulating environment, with statements such as «My child doesn't like loud noises» and «My child doesn't like watching TV programmes with lots of violent scenes». The test is freely available online and can be taken from home.

In the case of younger children, researchers have found that they can assess high sensitivity through observation. They look to see whether children avoid joining a group and how they react to a noisy environment.

Parenting style plays an important role

When it comes to highly sensitive children, parenting style plays a significant role. A study conducted in 2019 showed that children who were highly sensitive at the age of three exhibited age-appropriate developmental milestones by the age of six if their parents responded to their needs – in other words, if they were emotionally available and supportive.

Highly sensitive children with permissive parents – that is, parents who provided little or no structure or rules, or who tended to spoil their children – experienced more emotional problems, such as anxiety.

Highly sensitive children are often more cautious than their peers. Before getting involved, they wait until they have taken everything in. They can also be very sensitive to negative parenting styles, such as criticism or scolding, which makes these children more vulnerable to adversity.

This sensitivity can manifest itself in strong emotional reactions to criticism, stemming from a high degree of empathy, explains Michael Plüss. Such children therefore benefit from a calm and relaxed parenting style. Fortunately, highly sensitive people respond very well to positive experiences and preventive interventions in the field of mental health.

Highly sensitive children are not autistic

There is another reason why it can be important to understand a child's level of sensitivity. Highly sensitive children are sometimes mistakenly diagnosed as autistic. Although the behaviour of an autistic child and that of a highly sensitive child may sometimes appear similar, the underlying causes and neural connections differ.

«High sensitivity is a very complex trait that is often confused with autism or ADHD,» says Ilse van den Daele, author of *Mijn kind is hoogsensitief* and leader of a workshop in Belgium on the subject of high sensitivity.

Highly sensitive children are very curious, ask lots of questions and are usually creative.

Highly sensitive children thrive when they have someone's undivided attention. They are very curious, ask lots of questions and are generally creative. New, as yet unpublished research by Michael Plüss and his colleagues suggests that highly sensitive seven- and eight-year-olds also possess a stronger «theory of mind» than less sensitive children.

The term refers to the ability to read other people's thoughts and feelings. The study found that highly sensitive children were better able to recognise emotions in images of adults’ eyes than their peers. This is a well-known test for emotion recognition. The study's findings were consistent with research involving highly sensitive adults.

From dandelions to orchids

Some researchers use the terms «orchid» and «dandelion» when talking about people with different levels of sensitivity. Those with low sensitivity are like dandelions, which grow practically anywhere and require hardly any care. Highly sensitive people are like orchids; they are more delicate and need just the right amount of light and warmth to flourish. However, when the environment is right, orchids thrive exceptionally well.

If you feel that your child is as sensitive as an orchid, remember that these children can thrive if they receive the extra care and attention they need.

Here you will find various sensitivity tests: sensitivityresearch.com