«Help, there's a lot of arguing in our son's class!»
Time: 3 min
«Help, there's a lot of arguing in our son's class!»
One question - three opinions
There is a lot of arguing in our son's 6th grade class . In response, the children had to fill in a questionnaire: Who is in charge in the class? Who argues with whom about what? Who is marginalised? The answers were analysed and presented to the class by the entire teaching staff. Our son felt rather uncomfortable with this. What do you think of this approach?
This is what our team of experts says:
Stefanie Rietzler
It is important to actively tackle the issue of classroom climate. A sociogram, in which the relationships within a group become visible, can help the teacher to plan an intervention. However, I personally find it terrible to show and shame individual children who are being marginalised by presenting «the results», for example. It is also a very bad starting point for change: «unpopular» children see their role in the group cemented just as much as «dominant» ones. It would have been more important to ask what each and every individual can do in everyday life to improve the climate.
Peter Schneider
Like your son, I don't feel entirely comfortable with this, even if I do sympathise with this measure. A class divided in this way is likely to be very unpleasant for both the pupils and the teachers. But I also see the danger that the questionnaire campaign will become a continuation of the quarrels by other means. Except that the settlements between them are now officially «legitimised». I can only hope that the teaching staff are aware of this problem and that, for example, the naming of exclusions does not become a source of new exclusions.
Nicole Althaus
I don't know the level of unrest in the classroom and can't judge the procedure from the outside. The school management is certainly trying to initiate an awareness process with and within the class about who is contributing to the poor climate. But the real question is: Why does your son feel so uncomfortable? Is he one of the tone-setters or is he being marginalised? Ultimately, it's about helping your son to recognise and reflect on his own role. Do I need to change my behaviour? And how can I do that?
Our team of experts:
Nicole Althaus, 51, is editor-in-chief of magazines and a member of the editorial board of "NZZ am Sonntag", columnist and author. She initiated and managed the mum blog on "Tagesanzeiger.ch" and was editor-in-chief of "wir eltern". Nicole Althaus is the mother of two children aged 20 and 16.
Stefanie Rietzler is a psychologist, author ("Geborgen, mutig, frei", "Clever lernen") and runs the Academy for Learning Coaching in Zurich. www.mit-kindern-lernen.ch
Peter Schneider, 62, is a columnist, satirist, psychoanalyst, private lecturer in clinical psychology at the University of Zurich and visiting professor for the history and scientific theory of psychoanalysis in Berlin.
Do you have a question?
In this section, experts answer YOUR questions about parenting and everyday life with children. Send an e-mail to: redaktion(at)fritzundfraenzi.ch
More questions from parents:
"Help, my daughter's friend is extremely jealous!"What can I do?
"Help, our daughter stands in front of the mirror for hours!"What can we do?
"Help, our son is always freaking out!"How can I stay calm?
This text was originally published in German and was automatically translated using artificial intelligence. Please let us know if the text is incorrect or misleading: feedback@fritzundfraenzi.ch