«Help, my son is avoiding football tournaments!»

Perhaps your son doesn't lack ambition, but rather frustration tolerance. Teach him that nobody demands perfection, that mistakes are allowed to happen, even have to happen, so that you can continue to develop. And that the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Your son is obviously one of those children who doesn't enjoy competitive situations. It's a shame when intrinsically motivated children are put under pressure by performance-orientated coaches or parents to take part in tournaments or competitions for so long that they lose the joy of sport. People often forget that just because you are good at something and enjoy doing it doesn't mean you have to compete with others. Give your son time: maybe he will want to compete at some point, maybe he will remain an enthusiastic training spectator.

Yes, you should respect his wishes. But perhaps the coach can counteract your son's fear. Tell him (preferably without your son finding out) about your son's scruples. If he thinks it's right, he can use him more often in the games. But you can't impose ambition on your son, which will only make him suffer. Children are sometimes plagued by worries that adults find difficult to understand. Sometimes you just have to bear these worries patiently.

