Good learning: Our topic in April

Our daughter, ten years old, is sitting in the back seat. We drive to the shops, the news is on the radio. The announcer says that cities have been bombed again during the night. That people are seeking shelter in underground stations. And that hundreds of thousands are on the run. «Daddy, is the war coming to us too?» asks my daughter. I hesitate, I don't have a clever answer ready. I try to explain what is happening in Ukraine. And say that we are safe here. «Dad, two years ago you also said that corona was far away and wouldn't come to us. That wasn't true.»

«You want the world to be wonderful, peaceful and bright. And you do everything you can to convey this to your children,» writes Michèle Binswanger in her column. «You want to protect your child, offer them a nest. And then the brutal reality of world events catches up with them. This disenchantment is painful.»

Climate change. The corona pandemic. Now this terrible war in Europe. We have been in a constant state of fear and uncertainty for years. In a spiral of negative headlines and depressing images that overshadow our everyday lives. What can we do when we are burdened by reports of crises and war? «It's helpful to limit our news consumption and only read the news twice a day, for example,» advises psychotherapist Isabella Helmreich in our monthly interview.

Keep a worry or anxiety diary. By writing things down, you can get them out of your head.

Isabella Helmreich, psychological psychotherapist, Leibniz Institute for Resilience Research, Mainz

While working on this issue, I learnt a lot about how parents can support their children through difficult times. I realised how much children need our attention, our encouragement, our confidence right now: «I'm always there for you, supporting you, no matter how bad things are.» I have learnt that it is better to talk about what is bothering us instead of pretending it doesn't exist. I know that it's okay to admit when you don't have an answer to a question as a mum or dad. I have realised that images of war, destruction and suffering can become ingrained, which is why children should be exposed to such images as little as possible. And I am delighted that Chinese researchers have recognised that nostalgic feelings - leafing through photo albums, reading old love letters - can have a healing effect on the soul, evoke a feeling of optimism and satisfaction with life, and even alleviate pain.

«It's important to maintain a normal everyday life as a family even in difficult times,» says Yvonne Müller from the parents' emergency call centre. «You can forget about the war in between and devote yourself to the good things. We can continue to do well.»

What a comforting thought.

Sincerely,
Your Nik Niethammer