Free Father Christmas!
Do you still believe in Father Christmas? As a parenting aid? Fortunately, the days when most families were headed by an all-powerful patriarch and everyone had to obey him are over. It is also no longer fashionable to enforce the desired obedience by means of chastisement. (Although it is far from being eradicated, as a recent study has shown).
Father Christmas also dates back to the dark ages of education. In contrast to the educational principle he embodies, however, the old man with the beard is still very much alive. For organisational reasons, he also paid a visit to the children in our daughter's crèche on Sunday.
He was good-natured and empathetic, he also listened to the cheeky girls and responded to them. In response to the suggestive question, «Tell me, St Nicholas, the naughty children don't get any presents?», he explained in a gentle voice: «You know, there are no naughty children. There are just some who are a little wilder and sometimes don't listen well.»
«You know, there are no bad children. There are just some who are a little wilder and sometimes don't listen well.»
The progressive Father Christmas
He had the Schmutzli with him, but there was never any talk of a rod and the threat that he would take the naughty children into the dark forest was never mentioned. And yet, even this progressive Klaus could not resist praising the children for their good behaviour and scolding them for their bad behaviour.
Although the children clearly enjoyed waiting together for Father Christmas, singing songs and reciting little sayings to him and then eating chocolate and sugus, as a father I was left with a stale aftertaste. And the realisation that we should save poor Chlaus. From having to judge whether a child has always practised the recorder a lot and cleared the table, whether it has been good and followed the adults.
It's an old habit that should also be cut off from Father Christmas. Education guru Jesper Juul generally advises against trying to educate children. And Remo Largo tells children: The basis for obeying is the emotional bond with the parents. And this is destroyed or damaged by chastising methods.
Many parents today realise this - and yet once a year they send the old Chlaus with his educational methods from the last millennium to visit their children. Nothing against the man from the forest. But in future he should simply be allowed to drop by as a good-natured (grand) father figure, ask the children how they are, what's on their minds, what's bothering them, give them tips, listen to verses and songs and hand out sweets.
And while we're at it, let's bring the good Father Christmas into the 21st century: Instead of the hangman's servant Schmutzli, which he no longer needs, he should be accompanied by an old, wise woman who is his equal.
Photo: Pexels.com
