Far from porn: let's talk about sex

«Sex Education» is the name of a British series on the streaming service Netflix. The title alone is likely to scare some parents. It sounds like a modern sex education documentary with explicit depictions. In fact, «Sex Education» is a normal entertainment series with teenage protagonists.

The plot of the eight episodes goes something like this:

The film centres on 16-year-old Otis, the son of a sex therapist who is openly promiscuous. At school, Otis is attracted to Maeve, the girl with the pink hair and the bad reputation.

By chance, they both discover that Otis can give his classmates surprisingly good sex tips. The chronically cash-strapped Maeve turns this into a clever business: she procures solvent «clients» from the student body and Otis gives them advice in his empathetic way - even though he is extremely inhibited himself and has no sexual experience of his own. Not even in terms of masturbation.

Because the first two episodes are very clownish and overly cheerful, adults will probably switch off after just a few minutes. True to the motto: Please, not another silly teenage series! But it's definitely worth sticking with it. The tone changes in the third episode - it becomes serious, sad and very touching.

When was the last time you talked to your children about sex?

The series is a good opportunity to think about the last time we talked to our children about sex.

Internet porn has a disturbing effect

As long as children are young, many parents find it easier to educate them, flanked by factual biology lessons that also cover reproduction and contraception. But sexuality is far more complex. If sex is still one of the big taboo topics in education, this is not just down to us parents. Rather, the reason why it is so difficult to talk openly about sexuality with teenagers is because they are particularly uncomfortable and embarrassed to talk about it with their parents.

Now we adults could come up with the bold idea that discovering one's own sexuality should be much easier in the age of the internet than it was back then. The web makes it easy for children to access pornographic content. Today, the web is the easiest and most anonymous way to satisfy one's curiosity. If you don't believe this, you can enter the term «porn» in Google image search and be amazed at what appears.

In addition, there are explicit websites such as YouPorn, which hardly any young person is able to resist in an unobserved moment. This digital access may simplify many things, but their content can also negatively influence young people's image of sexuality. They can even damage it if certain video recordings give girls and boys the impression that sex is a competitive sport with mechanical movements. Not to mention all kinds of abnormal variations.

So it's no wonder that young people emerge from such offers more disturbed than enlightened . Some of them have physically painful experiences as a result of these false role models and perhaps this is why they no longer enjoy sex.

In times like these, the «Sex Education» series takes on a very special function that goes far beyond good entertainment.

The media puts teenagers under massive pressure

Discovering one's own sexuality has not become any easier despite the internet. When one boy in the series no longer enjoys having sex with his girlfriend, another has to deal with the problems of being homosexual and a third even suffers a panic attack before having sex for the first time, it is entertaining and funny for the young viewer, but also comforting and incredibly relieving. The helplessness and helplessness of the various protagonists takes away young viewers' own fears and shows that they are not alone in feeling this way.

After all, sexuality is an essential part of self-discovery during puberty. However, the media create a public sphere that puts children and young people under massive pressure. They are confronted with a wide variety of sexual practices on the internet and when zapping. On the one hand, there are bold sexual depictions - almost without taboos; on the other hand, there are teenagers who are still fully occupied with themselves and their own development, which would require a high degree of intimacy and seclusion.

In addition, teenagers don't usually want to start with active sex acts and a partner straight away, but first want to discover themselves, their own bodies and their own needs.

When one boy in the series no longer enjoys sex and another has panic attacks about it, it can be comforting for young people.

Until it comes to the first joint discovery and experimentation with a partner, sex education and clear educational literature, which can also be lying around somewhere in the home without comment, can help. Books have the advantage that young people can use them to withdraw and deal with the topic at their own pace. At the same time, they also offer the opportunity to discuss sexuality with trusted people, such as their very best friend.

Nevertheless, we parents should also be available as a point of contact without imposing ourselves. Parents can - far away from sex bombs and porn stars - convey a healthy and stable normality. Because even after girls and boys have had sex for the first time, there are still a lot of questions that even the best series in the world can't answer. But we parents can.

Tips for dealing with the topic of sex:

• Sex is initially something beautiful
• Contraception is important, it needs to be talked about
• Please no lewd speeches and jokes
• No jokes about the child's body
• Offer opportunities for retreat
• Do not impose educational literature, but leave it lying around
• Remain the point of contact for questions
• No interrogations on the subject of sexuality and friends
• Accept the child's privacy; even if small children have no problem with their own nudity, children and adolescents are becoming increasingly ashamed
• Take a look at «Sex Education» and make up your own mind