«Does it always go on like this, this life?»

I tell

Stefanie laughs as she scrolls through the pictures on her smartphone: «And here we are at our mini corona graduation party.» Boys and girls dressed up for a picnic in the park, toasting each other with glasses of champagne, joking around and making faces. In the pictures, Stefanie is wearing a floor-length, dark green dress; she looks happy and relaxed.
Anyone who meets the 18-year-old and experiences her for just half an hour cannot believe how many dark months there have already been in her young life. Stefanie has suffered from depression since early childhood. «Somehow, life was always exhausting and tedious,» she says. «I remember going to Europa-Park with my brother and my parents when I was eight years old, and my aunt and uncle were there too. Everyone had a blast and wanted me to have the same. But the whole time I was thinking, what's all this screaming about? I ended up sitting on the rollercoaster and other rides to make them happy. I didn't enjoy it.»
Stefanie has no friends at school. She is a good pupil and nobody has a problem with her, she is not bullied. But she is quiet, only speaks the bare minimum, keeps to herself during the breaks, reads and paints. At some point, she asks her aunt whether life will actually go on like this forever.

«At some point, it was as if someone lifted the grey veil and my world became a little more colourful every day.»

«She was suspicious, but she had been warned.» Stefanie's grandmother was hospitalised for depression for a long time and her father had attempted suicide as a teenager. Stefanie's parents - she's a chemist, he's a clerk at the local town hall - didn't want to hear that their daughter could be depressed, she was just a reserved child.
But her aunt wouldn't let up, and when Stefanie was eleven years old and mostly sat in her room on her bed after school staring ahead of her, her mother also reacted. They seek help from a psychologist, whom Stefanie tells that she doesn't even know what she is supposed to be living for. He refers her to an inpatient child and adolescent psychiatric ward, where she is treated for twelve weeks for her severe depression. Individual and group sessions, painting therapy, music therapy and medication.
«At some point, it was as if someone lifted the veil of grey and my world suddenly became a little more colourful every day,» says Stefanie. Her father still refuses to recognise his daughter's illness. Her mother has now accepted that Stefanie will always need help - from psychologists and medication. Over the past few years, she has regularly driven Stefanie to therapy. At times, the sessions took place several times a week, «when the indifference returned», Stefanie remembers. But the intervals became longer and longer. She doesn't need any medication at the moment, but she still sees a psychologist at least every fortnight. She doesn't see this as a stigma. «Others have their regular counsellor, I have my regular therapist,» she says, «and he's good for me.»

*Name known to the editors
**For the «Depression» dossier, Gabi Vogt was allowed to stage a photo series with the Wirth family from Zurich. The people shown in it have no connection to the texts in this issue. The photographer has already realised several dossiers for Fritz+Fränzi.

Read more about depression:

• Depression: shadows on the soul
  Puberty is a time of change. Mental illnesses such as depression occur more frequently at this time. An estimated 10 to 20 per cent of all adolescents suffer from this mental disorder at some stage. How does depression develop and how does it manifest itself? What warning signs should parents look out for and when do they need treatment?
• «It's good for Justus when he can talk to someone»
  When Bettina H.* moved to the canton of Bern with her husband and two sons, she initially thought that everyone was doing well in their new home. Until her son Justus*, 15, grew increasingly distant from her.
• «The number of suicide attempts has risen significantly»
  According to child and adolescent psychiatrist Gregor Berger, 90 per cent of victims suffered from a mental illness such as depression in the year before their suicide. He advises parents to talk to their children about this at the first sign.
• What to do when your daughter loses the courage to face life?
  When a child becomes depressed, it poses a major challenge for the whole family. Searching for the cause is often of little help. What is important is trust - and that the child does not make the depression their identity.