«Decency is the be-all and end-all»

In everyday family life, it is the dining table that always brings us together. We combine shared meals with a relaxed get-together, the opportunity to talk about our experiences and share in each other's lives. For us, it's a little family oasis. Of course, not everything is always cheerful and cheerful, and sometimes topics are raised on which we disagree.

Sitting opposite each other is not always suitable for this; our sons communicate in very different ways. We try to take this into account. Deniz is very open and communicative, Kerim needs a little time to talk about himself. He prefers to talk about more difficult topics on a walk. The youngest blossoms when we have a lot of time and don't have to organise much. We particularly enjoy holiday times, because there is plenty of room for communication, especially when we go on outings together.

In our dealings with each other and with people outside our household, decency is very important to us. We insist that our sons greet other people attentively - i.e. with eye contact and shaking hands. We also greet and say goodbye properly. For us, this is a sign of appreciation, which is an important prerequisite for communication.

Saying goodnight in the bedroom has remained a ritual that is still appreciated by the two older children. It's no longer as extensive as seven-year-old Kenan would like, but they enjoy the fact that we have an open ear for personal issues.

Our sons communicate in very different ways. We try to take this into consideration.

The number one point of contention is the mobile phone, and we are probably not alone here. For us, it's a device that reduces our direct dialogue with each other. Deniz and Kerim use it to withdraw into another world, and we don't like that. Then patience and understanding are not always the same, it can sometimes get loud. Asking them three times to put their mobile phones away is enough, we are very clear about that. In general, we are very transparent about our values and we discuss them intensively as a couple.

As our children are growing up speaking four languages - they are fluent in Turkish, Serbo-Croatian, Italian and Swiss German - this opens a few doors for them. We notice that they approach strangers very openly and make contact very quickly.