Dad tips from a pro

Make exclusive time possible. Give each child exclusive daddy time - for example, by doing something alone with each child or maintaining a ritual together. Each of your children needs to feel that they have a unique relationship with you.

Be affectionate, even if the children are already grown up. Experiencing paternal closeness and warmth is important, even and especially in teenage years. The mother often has the role of distributing tenderness. No matter how well she does this, this division of labour does not make sense. As a father, offer your children comfort and affection, both physically and verbally.

Establish a sense of community. Especially with older children, fathers are sometimes unsure how to reconnect with them after an absence, as their offspring often don't notice their return. Take the initiative and try to participate in your child's activities. For example, by sitting in on a game, drawing or listening to music. Avoid general questions («What did you do today?»), instead refer to specific things - the activity your child is currently doing, the project they told you about yesterday, the football match from the afternoon.

Take part in a parent-child programme. Father-child gymnastics or a joint cookery course can help you to spend regular time with your child and give him your full attention. You can also socialise with other fathers.

Take your children to work with you. Children will understand better why you are not always available for work reasons if they can actually see what dad does. Give your children an insight if you can. Not all professions are as accessible to children as doctors or builders, but it can be exciting just to visit the workplace.

Establish a worry zone. It's not always possible to switch off after work and devote your full attention to your child. The advice to simply not worry doesn't help much - what can help is an agreement with yourself: Allow yourself a certain period of time that is reserved for worrying. It doesn't matter whether you need 15, 30 minutes or an hour. The key is to be able to indulge your worries within the defined time period - so that they don't spill over into family time and interfere with it.

Literature

Read more about men in their role as fathers, partners, family members and members of society.
and member of society:

Read more about fathers:

• Väterspezial: Papa im Fokus
  Einst galt die Mutter als allein seligmachende Bezugsperson fürs Kind. Zum Glück haben sich die Zeiten geändert. Dank gesellschaftlicher Entwicklungen, aber auch dank neuer Väter, die mit alten Mustern brechen und sich nicht damit begnügen, im Leben ihrer Kinder eine Zuschauerrolle einzunehmen. So geht es den Familienmännern damit.
• «Früher waren Väter das Tor zur Aussenwelt»
  Europas bekanntester Väterforscher Wassilios Fthenakis sagt, dass Väter anders erziehen als Mütter. Wo die Unterschiede liegen und warum diese mehr mit unserer Gesellschaft als dem männlichen Geschlecht zu tun haben.
• «Ich bin ein Exot»
  Mauro Castrigno, 38, Vater von Gilda, 5, und Lino, 3, ist Hausmann. Seine Frau Jennifer, 41, arbeitet Vollzeit als Kriminalpolizistin. 
  Sie wohnen in Rikon ZH.
• «Wie bringt man alles unter einen Hut?»
  Thomas Jakob, 36, aus Frauenfeld TG ist Interaction-Designer, seine Frau Janina, 36, ­Sekundarlehrerin. Der Vater von Malea, 7, und Luano, 3, will für seine Familie da sein, aber auch im Job à jour bleiben.
• «Ich habe Vaterschaft nie als Last empfunden»
  Seine ersten Kinder Isaac, 33, und Danielle, 32, erzog Dean Treml, 54, aus Sulz LU allein. Nachzügler Diego, 5, nun mit seiner Frau Romina, 37.
• «Das Wochenende mit meiner Familie ist mir heilig»
  Daniel Bissegger, 44, aus Dürnten im Zürcher Oberland ist in seiner Führungsposition bei einer Bank stark eingespannt. Als Vater will der Ehemann von Nathalie, 40, und Papa von David, 10, und Joline, 7, vor allem eines: nicht nur anwesend, sondern präsent sein.