Cyberbullying thrives on spectators

Becoming a victim of cyberbullying can be extremely stressful for children and young people. However, bullying never only affects perpetrators and victims, but also the wider social environment in which all those involved play their part - including followers and the «silent majority». In order to break the negative dynamic that keeps bullying going, parents and teachers should try to involve these two groups in solving the problem. The aim must be to withdraw the active or passive support of the community from the perpetrator.

The first and perhaps most difficult step for adults is to recognise what is going on: Who is victimising whom and why? What are the group dynamics in a class or clique? And why do most people keep quiet and don't get involved? Is it fear, indifference or the desire to be on the stronger side? This is where a parent needs to start: Firstly, try to address the situation in the family. An important point is to find out why your own child remains silent or even sympathises with the perpetrator. In this context, the Focus report from the JAMES study on young people's media use from August 2021 shows impressively that even those who are «just» bystanders to cyberbullying suffer: affected children said they felt uncomfortable, depressed and sad when they were confronted with hate online and witnessed how someone else was being bullied.

Encourage the child to stand up for others

Try to make your child aware of the injustice of the situation and appeal to their solidarity: What if you were affected yourself? Wouldn't you want someone to help you? If the support of the group is withdrawn from a perpetrator, bullying often decreases quickly. Encourage your child to have their own opinion and to stand up for themselves and others. It can be a meaningful, formative experience for your child to be able to defend themselves against injustice as part of an allied group.

To enable children and young people to move away from the role of follower or bystander, teachers and parents should also discuss with them how they can respond to verbal attacks from bullies. For example, it is not advisable to hurl insults back, become equally aggressive or try to defend yourself against absurd insinuations. It is better to ask the bully serious questions about the reasons for their feelings: Why are you reacting so strongly to this person, what exactly is bothering you? This opens up the opportunity to steer the discussion away from the victim and onto a factual level. Then even more passive or anxious young people will dare to take a stand in a group discussion.
On Medienstark you will find tips and interactive learning modules for the competent use of digital media in everyday family life. swisscom.ch/medienstark