Communication between school and parents

As a rule, the relationship between the school and parents is good to very good and forms the basis for successful cooperation. Teachers and school management receive a great deal of appreciation from parents across all social classes and cultures. And that cannot be taken for granted. For parents, the transition process at the beginning of a child's school career is not easy. After the children spend the first few years almost exclusively in the family environment, a lot changes when they start kindergarten. Suddenly, an almost stranger is looking after their child, at least in the mornings. The children meet friends with whom they previously had nothing to do. They learn to play together, argue together and get along again. Personally, I only really realised this when my own children started kindergarten.

Parents usually only get in touch when there are problems

A few years ago, a mother contacted me because her daughter was being pelted with stones by other children on the way to school. We discussed the situation with the children and agreed that it wouldn't happen again. It went quite well for a while. But as it happens, at some point there was another row. The mum was surprised that the topic came up again. Perhaps she thought that the teacher's conversation with the children would have a definitive effect. In her anger, the mother called the parents of the other children and accused them. To top it off, she stopped the offending children on their way to school and warned them to leave her daughter alone. She even grabbed one child by the arm. This, in turn, understandably enraged the parents of the other children.

This example shows how conflicts with children of the same age and between parents can begin. As the children get older, it can also happen that you don't agree with the actions of the teachers or the school management. Parents usually contact me if they have problems with the way to school (too long, too dangerous, conflicts), if they are not happy with the class organisation, if their child is being harassed (or in the worst case bullied) or if their own child is not performing as expected.

Sometimes wishes contradict the interests of the whole class

While some parents simply ask for and need an explanation in order to be able to understand decisions, others try to bring about a change. This can take on the proportions of coercion and threats. It sometimes happens that the wishes of individual parties conflict with the interests of an entire class or the whole school.

Interventions by parents can be difficult for the school if they feel they are being put on the defensive.

Interventions by parents can be difficult for the school if they feel they are being put on the defensive. The school's perceived overpowering position as a representative of the state may also play a role here. However, teachers and head teachers are only human. Even if they represent the state to a certain extent in their tasks, they can be nervous before difficult discussions with parents. I always feel that way.

Discuss problems between children objectively with other parents

Using the example of bullying on the way to school, I would like to show the way to resolve such incidents: The best thing is always a dialogue between the parents concerned, without the involvement of school representatives. Parents should try to make their children understand, objectively and without blaming each other, that any kind of bullying harms everyone and benefits no-one. If it is not possible to calmly approach other parents about problems, it is better to seek support from specialists such as teachers, head teachers or school social workers. Under no circumstances, however, should parents pass other children on their way to school and even touch them.

The more transparency there is, the greater the mutual trust. This gives parents a positive attitude towards the school.

In the event of conflicts with the school, it is very important that parents express their point of view at an early stage and not just when they have had enough. So get in touch sooner rather than later if you are irritated by something. Your first point of contact is the teacher. Contact the school management if no agreement can be reached with the teacher or if a conflict arises.

Cooperation promotes success at school

Precisely because school and home can have different views, constant communication between parents and school to ensure mutual understanding is the ideal way to create a good climate. Parents, teachers and headteachers need to be in regular dialogue with each other and know what is going on with the children. The more transparency there is, the greater the mutual trust. This is the foundation on which teachers and school leaders build and thanks to which parents gain a positive attitude towards school.
Various research results have shown that a child's success at school is significantly dependent on the parents' attitude towards the school.
This also includes parents recognising and respecting the limits of what is possible. Not everything that is desirable for one's own child can be realised or is technically skilful. At school, the interests of the group usually take priority over the individual.

Teachers and head teachers are dependent on your help. Especially if the child is conspicuous. For a long time, I thought that disruptions caused by pupils could only be resolved at school and only there. And that teachers must therefore try to resolve the disruption through skilful pedagogical action. Based on my own experience, I have now come to the conclusion that parents must be involved in finding a solution. They are the key to the sustainability of the relationship between teachers and schoolchildren. A look at schools with active parental involvement, for example in the form of a parents' council or similar, shows how successful the interaction can be. The upbringing and education of children is a joint task for parents and school. I would be delighted if you could help to bring this attitude of co-operation into the school buildings and your family.

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