Children's pictures on the net: No-go or not so bad?
Child Protection Switzerland deals with the tough issues of parenthood. Sexual assault, violence in parenting, early recognition of neglect in infants. The texts are soberly written, backed up with serious figures and studies - and a clear stance in favour of children and their rights.
And then there's this campaign that has popped up over and over again in my Instagram feed in recent months. Shared by other parents who apparently find this topic particularly important. «One in ten parents regularly post pictures of their children online,» it says, for example. A little later, a warning is issued about the use of images on the darknet and about artificial intelligence turning harmless kindergarten photos into porn.
A checklist is intended to help unsure parents decide which pictures to post and which not to post. The child protection experts' recommendation is clear: photos in which children's faces are recognisable should not be shared publicly. And to make it very clear what they think about this issue, they ask «one last important question»: «What does it do for the child if I share this picture on social media? Am I not only satisfying my own needs?»
I arrange to meet Regula Bernhard Hug, Director of Child Protection Switzerland, for a video interview. We talk for almost an hour - and realise above all that we are looking at the topic from very different perspectives. Regula Bernhard Hug is in contact with families with children and young people whose images have been edited online using artificial intelligence to create paedocriminal material or who are victims of cyberbullying.
Nobody wants to put their children in risky situations. Especially not with a cute snapshot.
Regula Bernhard Hug, Director of Child Protection Switzerland
Keeping an eye on the children's living environment
She is directly confronted with «the risks of the digital world», as she puts it. These include cybergrooming (targeted contact with minors) and sextortion (blackmail using nude photos or other sexually charged material). She says: «The conscious handling of children's images online and the corresponding sensitisation are extremely relevant for me.»
I, on the other hand, am the mum of a two-year-old boy who I love to show off. And I also like looking at pictures of other children and other families. I find it difficult when children's photos are banned from the normal internet for fear of the darknet. I am convinced that if we no longer see children, we will also lose sight of the world they live in.
On German-language social media, where photos of children are particularly frowned upon, you mainly hear what exhausted mums say to the camera in selfie mode: that it took forever to put them to sleep again today, that they are dog-tired, that the children have just brought home a stomach bug for the third time this winter.
The other sides of being a parent - the funny, absurd, beautiful, charming ones - are usually associated with children's faces. They rest in peace on the local memory of the mobile phone - and are at most shared with grandparents or godparents.
Know the dangers
Regula Bernhard Hug thinks this is a good middle way. After all, parents naturally want to capture and share their children's favourite moments. She believes: "It's important that parents are aware of the dangers that come with publicising. I agree with her. But I think we are all aware of these dangers. After all, we've been on the internet for many years.
We know that once images end up on the internet, they can be there forever. We also know that it is possible to put heads from harmless photos onto bodies in porn scenes using image editing. I would argue that parents even know that snapshots taken in the toilet or where children are half-naked do not belong in public - and, of course, that you can ask children as soon as they are old enough what they think of a photo and whether they agree to it being shared.
I don't want to live with the feeling of being surrounded by paedophiles who are just waiting to do evil things.
Regula Bernhard Hug refers to a survey of parents conducted by the University of Fribourg. This shows that 20 per cent of parents rarely or never consider whether a posted photo of a child is suitable or not. She herself knows of cases in which parents desperately tried to get a bathtub photo off the net. She knows of a father who doesn't believe his 15-year-old daughter that the sex video he has just seen was created using AI. She says: «Nobody wants to put their children in risky situations. Especially not with a cute snapshot.»
That's why she recommends: don't show children's faces from the front - and «ask yourself before posting whether I would also share this picture of myself». Two good tips. I also think the Clickandstop.ch reporting centre, where you can anonymously draw attention to paedocriminal material, is great.
Insecure parents
I'm on the phone to Nora Imlau, a German journalist and expert on family issues. Imlau is one of the few prominent voices in the German-speaking world who takes a less harsh view of the issue of child photos. For her, the campaign by Child Protection Switzerland, including the checklist for insecure parents, fits well into the current debate.
«We are dealing with a generation of parents who are very insecure - and feel the need to be on the morally right side,» says Imlau. Not sharing photos of children - and asking others not to do so either - is one of the few topics that provide precisely this moral certainty.
Anyone who shows attitude here belongs to a certain elite group of parents who would never post their child on Facebook simply because it is cute. Yet this is actually quite normal. «There has always been a need to immortalise your family and take pictures,» says Imlau. «It's just a nice feeling to be able to show your child to the world.»
Distrust overshadows joy
I have to admit: I feel the same way. But I'm also concerned about something else. If I have to think every day that there are paedophiles somewhere in the world just waiting to do malicious things with my data, then everything changes. This mistrust not only overshadows the joy of the cute photos, it also makes me feel like I'm surrounded by dangerous people. I don't want to live like that.
And it goes even further: not only do I have to be constantly on my guard against these people - I'm even to blame myself if they misuse my harmless photos for criminal offences. «I find this perpetrator-victim reversal particularly problematic,» says Imlau. «After all, it's illegal to steal images from social media. I don't think it's right that parents are being blamed for the behaviour of the perpetrators.» But it is precisely this argument that has now become established.
The few parents I know who have posted pictures of their children on social media don't dare to talk about it publicly. «Super difficult topic, I don't have a clear strategy,» one mum writes to me and follows up with a hashtag: #badmom. Another mum says: «I've just read another article that scared me. Maybe I'll stop soon.» Both women only show photos of their children very rarely and very selectively. The fact that they are afraid and describe themselves as bad mums is absurd to me.
At the same time, I understand all mums and dads who choose to keep their children's pictures completely private. Just like I understand my partner, who is practically untraceable on social media. It feels right for him - wonderful.
It is a matter of risk assessment
Nobody has to publish photos of their children - and it's great that child protection organisations offer information and help families who have been victims of blackmail or have accidentally uploaded a bathtub photo.
And yes, there are parents who deceive their children with mean pranks and upload videos of them biting into a lemon. There are influencers who earn a lot of money with their children - and put pressure on them to stand in front of the camera even when they don't feel like it. That's not okay - but it doesn't have much to do with the normal parenting world. There, it's about other trade-offs.
The question of whether and how we share photos of our children online is one of the many questions of parenthood where there is no clear answer.
For example, when I ask myself how risky it is to take a photo of my child laughing while sledging. I would argue that you can come to the conclusion that the risk is manageable and that the joy of the beautiful moment you want to share outweighs the risk. Or I come to the conclusion that newborn babies look so much alike that nobody recognises the toddler in the playground a year later - and therefore decide with a clear conscience to post the photo, which has been printed hundreds of times and stuck on the birth announcement, online.
In other words, the question of whether and how we share photos of our children online is one of the many questions of parenthood where there is no clear answer. Where we will find different, sometimes contradictory arguments - and are ultimately called upon to go our own way.
Safety through education
Of course, it's important for me to talk to my son about identity theft and the dark side of artificial intelligence as soon as possible. To explain to him what cyberbullying is and to tell him that if something like this happens, he has both the law and his parents behind him. I think that's safer than trying to keep his face off the internet.
Meanwhile, Nora Imlau has decided to stop showing her children - mainly due to her new role. With over 150,000 followers on Instagram, the author reaches a large audience - which is not always well-disposed towards her. «During the coronavirus pandemic, I received very specific threats,» says Imlau. «I reached a level where I no longer had the feeling that they were just a theoretical, abstract danger.»
In addition, her children are now older and no longer want to appear in public. So she has taken the pictures off the net. The fact that there are some photos that can still be found is fine for her children. «In some campaigns, a scenario is created in which the children carry these pictures after their parents forever - that's definitely not how it was with us,» says Imlau. «We simply talked about it and decided that it wasn't right now. But that can change again.»
Is it right for me, for my child?
And Regula Bernhard Hug? At the end of our conversation, she is thoughtful. On the one hand, because it is important to Child Protection Switzerland that children and their issues are in the public eye. On the other hand, because she is convinced that the clear stance advocated by Child Protection Switzerland is the right one - and that parents need to weigh up carefully and seriously how they want to deal with the images of their children.
I believe that, in addition to a handful of pieces of information, you need to take a moment to look at the photo or video and ask yourself how you would feel if you were in it and what it could mean for your child.
If it feels weird, it's probably better not to share it. But if we feel safe with this photo - then we can click on upload without a guilty conscience. Because despite all the heated debates - the people who are happy about such a picture are in the majority. And when we weigh up how we live our everyday lives with children, we shouldn't lose sight of what is beautiful and easy.
