«Children should not have to take responsibility for their parents»
Mrs Koch, there is a new therapeutic parents' group in Winterthur for parents with mental health problems. How did this come about?
In contrast to a somatic illness, mental disorders are often still stigmatised. Many sufferers therefore feel guilty and ashamed and are very worried about the well-being of their children. They want them to develop well despite the current difficult situation.
And where does group therapy start?
We initially work preventively and help parents to talk to their children about the problems in an age-appropriate way. With a younger child, this can be done with a picture book, for example. The children should get the feeling that they don't have to take responsibility for their mum or dad. This can take the pressure off.
What illnesses do the parents have?
This is very mixed. Depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive or personality disorders, alcohol problems, borderline or psychosis. There are more women than men.
What are the difficulties for children with a parent who has mental health problems?
Many children are overwhelmed and have to take on tasks that are not age-appropriate, for example. Or they don't know what they are allowed to say about the illness. There is often an unspoken ban on communication in families. Many children feel insecure in such a situation, they are irritated and this leads to a lack of speech, which can lead to loneliness.
As a therapist, what do you want to achieve with your work?
We want parents to be able to strengthen and support their children as much as possible, despite their mental illness. When we talk about the well-being of the children in the parents' group, it not only gives them new opportunities for the future, but also the parents. It gives many of them new motivation and shows them that they can make a difference despite their illness and that they are not alone.
What is the composition of the group?
There is a maximum of eight adults who are affected by a mental illness and have underage children. The group meets six times and focuses on a different topic each time.
Wouldn't it make sense to form therapeutic children's groups as well?
In the medium to long term, we would also like to set up such children's groups. We not only want to strengthen the parents affected, but also promote the children's resilience.
Despite all the discussions, having a mentally ill parent is a huge burden for a child.
Exactly. That's why it's important that the child also has a «different world»: It should be able to go out, talk to others, do things with the grandparents when the sick parent is struggling to be active, as is often the case with depression. The relationship between parents and children is important, but it is also important that the child also has other carers.
