Child development: Our topic in July and August
The question has been on my mind since I became a father for the first time 14 years ago: What does my child need? How much care is appropriate, how much trust is necessary? How do I find the ideal balance between love and strictness?
What I know today is that education is not a technique. Education is not preparation for life. Education is guidance in life, education is giving support and letting go. Or as the great Swiss educationalist Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi (1746-1827) once put it: «Education is example and love, nothing else.» I love this sentence, it takes the pressure off and has something comforting about it. I try to accept our children as they are. And not how I would like them to be. I endeavour not to worry too much, not to want to be perfect as a father, to remain calm, to be able to admit when I don't know what to do.
It's a truism - and yet it regularly causes confusion and uncertainty in everyday life with children: Every girl, every boy is different and develops at their own pace. Around the age of 4, a kind of journey of discovery begins, the imagination, the range of movement and the social environment grow; between the ages of 8 and 12, the process of self-discovery begins, which demands a lot from most children. Finally, between the ages of 13 and 17, young people experience a time of rapid change and transformation that often leads parents to the brink of despair. What does my child need at what stage of life - when should parents intervene, when should they wait? You can find the answers in our child development dossier.
I would like to see more curiosity from parents. Curiosity to discover the child and accompany them on their journey.
Heidi Simoni, psychologist specialising in psychotherapy, Director of the Marie Meierhofer Institute for the Child in Zurich
Am I doing enough to ensure that my child makes good progress? Are there developmental steps that we as parents need to actively encourage? And: Am I worrying too much about my child's development? Our author Julia Meyer-Hermann asked these questions to development experts Heidi Simoni, Moritz Daum and Oskar Jenni. You can read their concentrated expertise here.
«When I think of the happy moments of my childhood, all kinds of images come to mind. Playing hide and seek in the neighbourhood until dark. Badminton in the street (...). But I also have fond memories of exploring the vast landscape of Legend of Zelda with all its secret passages on the Nintendo console together with my best friend and my brother.» This is howFabian Grolimund's latest column begins - a text that stirred me up, as I am one of those people who focus primarily on the consequences of excessive media consumption and the risk of addiction to computer games.
Psychologist Grolimund advises fathers like me to jump over their own shadow and enter the virtual world together with their child with curiosity and an open mind. If the gaming world is as foreign to you as it is to me, why don't you write down what experiences you have had with «jumping over your own shadow»? I look forward to receiving mail from you.
Yours sincerely
Nik Niethammer
