5 tips on how parents can raise their child in a gender-appropriate way
1. question your own prejudices
Your son wants to paint his fingernails and likes pink? Why not! He's probably neither gay nor born in the wrong body (and even if he was, he'd hopefully love it just the same), but creative and keen to experiment.
2. put aside your fears
Why don't you let the boy go to the playground in a princess dress if he wants to? Of course, it is quite possible that he will be teased. But firstly, we can't protect our children from every unpleasant experience. And secondly, an explanation is much more helpful than a ban. This way, the child can decide for themselves whether their individuality is important to them or whether they would rather be like everyone else. A child who is simply forbidden to wear a dress because he is a boy can do little with this explanation.
3. avoid stereotyping statements
It is sometimes tempting to comfort your daughter by telling her that, as a girl, she has other talents than maths when she repeatedly struggles with poor grades. Being told that you have certain deficits because you belong to one gender or the other cements stereotypical ideas. Why should your daughter make an effort if she can't do it anyway? It's better to sit down with your child and find out exactly what's wrong.
4. question your children's prejudices
«She never wears skirts and doesn't have Barbies, but I don't think she's gay!» (Statement made by the author's daughter, aged around five, about a kindergarten friend). Of course you can laugh at a statement like that. But it would be better to ask why the child thinks it is so unusual for a girl not to wear skirts, whether she values this fact in any way and if so, why.
Prince Rapunzel lets his long hair out of the window and the princess climbs up it.
5. be creative
Swap the genders when reading aloud or telling stories. Prince Rapunzel lets his long hair out of the window and the princess climbs up it. Or even better: make up your own story in which girls and boys don't behave stereotypically. And if you give the courageous superheroine the name of your daughter or the generous, empathetic little boy the name of your son, exciting conversations are sure to ensue.
