5 relationship management tips for parents

«A partnership is like a plant,» says couples researcher and therapist Guy Bodenmann, «if we don't nurture it, it withers.» In the following, he reveals what helps to nurture love in everyday life:

Fertiliser for love: 5 tips for parents

• Taking time for each other
  Conversations, sex, activities for two: couples need time to bond. Even if it is only one evening a week that a couple reserves for themselves - be it for a dance class or an after-work beer at home - such time-outs deserve a fixed place in the diary, because they strengthen the sense of togetherness that is needed, especially in turbulent times.

• Being kind to each other
  The tone makes the music - not only in conflict, but also in everyday life. Do we say thank you for small tokens of appreciation? Do we sometimes make the other person happy? Do we listen with interest when the other person tells us something? Do we help each other? A benevolent, friendly approach promotes a positive climate in partnerships and families.

• Arguing fairly
  It always takes two to argue. It helps to deal with conflicts with this in mind and to approach each other in a solution-orientated manner instead of falling into destructive patterns of argument.

• Supporting each other
  Knowing that you can rely on your partner and count on their support when needed feeds a basic need that allows us to enter into relationships: to feel loved and accepted.

• Creating commitment
  Commitment is the basic prerequisite for a fulfilling long-term relationship. It means showing the other person: I want you, and I want you for the long term. If this is missing, the foundation crumbles.

Coaching with a professional

With the Paarlife coaching programme, couple researcher Guy Bodenmann and his team at the University of Zurich give couples the opportunity to strengthen their relationship on various levels. The evening courses begin with a theoretical introduction to the topics of dealing with stress as a couple, communicating as partners and solving problems together, which are then illustrated using practical exercises and video examples. Paarlife is supplemented with a wide range of digital offers and guides on the subject of stress and partnership.
Information is available here: www.paarlife.ch

Read more about being parents, staying a couple:

• What makes couples strong
  Many people want a partnership for life. But crises usually occur halfway through at the latest: The daily grind and stress gnaw away at the relationship. How does love work in times of a multi-option society?
• «An affair is not a declaration of bankruptcy»
  Couples and sex therapist Helke Bruchhaus Steinert knows what can help to revitalise eroticism when sex has become rare in everyday parental life. And explains why intimacy should not be confused with fusion.
• «One big rollercoaster ride»
  Sefora Cuoco, 28, a marketing coach and yoga teacher, and personal trainer Civan Oezdogan, 27, from Zurich have experienced the greatest happiness and the most painful abysses of life in three years as parents.
• «At some point, enough is enough»
  For Chiara, 40, and Curdin Erni-Biondi, 41, from Scuol GR, relationship crises always occur in winter: The father spends most of it on the mountain, which often pushes his wife to the limit. On the other hand, the parents of Andri, 10, Lia, 9, and Charlie-Corsin, 2, rarely have arguments in summer.
• «Children move on, the partner stays»
  Since becoming parents, Tabea Plattner, 43, and her husband Jonas, 45, from Hindelbank BE, have regularly takentime out as a couple. This has saved their love, say the musician and the agricultural scientist, parents of Janic, 21, Ramon, 20, Joel, 16, and Mauro, 14.
• «It was a disaster»
  Claudia*, 40, and Marco, 47, a medical practice assistant and technical draughtsman from Basel, tried out an open relationship. The experiment ended in chaos, but it was still instructive for the parents of a son, 12, and a daughter, 8.
• The right way to argue and book tips
  With the first child, the couple's relationship changes - and often becomes a partnership of convenience in the daily grind and stress. Here you can find out what parents can do to ensure that love and lust don't get lost and how to argue properly.