Why should I bring up my son in a feminist way?
Of course, not all men are violent - there are women who are in no way inferior to us in terms of ruthlessness - and of course we men are not to blame for all the trouble, and yet we have a hand in a lot of what goes wrong. The reasons for this are as varied as they are complex. But at least one of them has to do with us parents. Does it have anything to do with the way we bring up our boys?
We live in a world in which women still play supporting roles.
The most important skills today are probably communication, cooperation and empathy. But if you look around in the world, a broad-legged, self-important worldliness reigns that never hesitates, never makes mistakes, never doubts, never admits uncertainty or helplessness, never agrees with others. The logic of this world: the wiser man doesn't give in, he gets his way. Incidentally, it is also a world in which women still play supporting roles.
At the same time, paradoxically, we seem to be convinced that equality has long since been realised, which is why everyday sexism and anti-feminism are currently spreading again undisturbed. Of course, this thinking and behaviour is no coincidence, because these are the values that we men have been emulating for thousands of years and that we fathers, consciously or unconsciously, also exemplify to our sons. Because I fear that we will drive the world up the wall if we cling to the age-old masculinity ideals of superiority and invulnerability. The starting point for our little attempt at re-education is Gloria Steinem's wise sentence: «It's great that we have started to bring up our daughters like our sons. But it won't work until we treat our sons more like our daughters.» In other words: it's time to raise our boys in a feminist way.
Be brave and speak up when men make sexist jokes.
But what can you do? As a father, for example, this: Meet women at eye level, especially those who are close to you - your son will learn his attitude towards women from this. Speak up when men make sexist jokes - it will take more courage than you think. Cultivate friendships with women - in general: refer to women; also talk about female athletes, politicians and thinkers who influence you. Don't be your partner's assistant at home - take responsibility yourself. Don't constantly tell your life as a success story - also mention defeats, insecurities, resistance. In short: be respectful, be courageous, undermine purely male reference systems, take responsibility and above all: be strong by showing your weaknesses.
