«Two mums - c'est ça!»

Bettina and Fiona Aremu are the mums of seven-year-old Tobi. The rainbow family would like society to rethink the one-sided image of the family. They are one of the families we presented in our dossier on new family models.

"We decided to take part in this dossier to make the family as we live it visible - also at the request of our daughter Tobi. It is important to speak out publicly so that society can rethink its one-sided image of the family and at some point replace it with ideas that children like Tobi can also recognise. As two mothers, we would like our family model not to be defined by the absence of a father, but to be self-sufficient: There are two parents who love and raise their child. Two mums - c'est ça!

That would make the question of which of us is Tobi's «real» mother superfluous. Of course Tobi knows how she came about, that there was a man who gave us a gift with a sperm donation. Tobi likes to talk about herself, but has also realised that she doesn't have to answer everyone's questions. The fact that she grew up in a rainbow family means that she gets questions, but fortunately only rarely.

Three women, one rainbow family: Bettina and Fiona Aremu with their daughter Tobi, 7.
Three women, one rainbow family: Bettina and Fiona Aremu with their daughter Tobi, 7.

When talking to other children, the topic of dad sometimes comes up. We do not associate this term with a genetic function, but with a social function: that of a present, loving parent. That's why we don't talk about dad, but about the sperm donor.

«Stepchild adoption, which will be possible from 2018, is a huge relief for us.»

Stepchild adoption, which has been possible since 2018, was long overdue for rainbow families. Only now is it possible for homosexuals to realise their desire to have children as part of equal parenthood, even with legal backing. This is a huge relief for us."

New family models, our dossier in February 2018:

"Mother, mother, child" - Our February 2018 magazine focuses on the most diverse family models. Order the issue here!
"Mother, mother, child" - Our February 2018 magazine focuses on the most diverse family models. Order the issue here!

Read more:

  • Jedes fünfte Kind wächst schon heute in einem nicht-traditionellen Familienmodell auf - was bedeutet das?
  • Regenbogenfamilien - wie geht es den Kindern?