Teacher Monika C.: «The aggressive parents are new!»

"What strikes me is that the language and the way the children interact with each other has become much harsher. On the other hand, there are fewer physical altercations than there used to be. However, the children are constantly supervised, driven to and from school by their parents. During the break, there are at least four supervisors on the playground. The children run to them for every little thing. Sometimes it might be better if there was a bang. But this way, the children no longer have any freedom at all. What's more, all the solutions are presented to them on a silver platter at home. And they demand the same from me as a teacher.
A completely new phenomenon is not aggressive children, but aggressive parents. We recently had an incident at school where a father grabbed a child who was tormenting his own child by the collar and shook him. And at a parents' evening, someone once shouted: «Incompetent teachers!» Many parents question us teachers, the pressure they put on us is often enormous.
There's also something you can't say out loud, but yes, it's very often foreign children who show aggression. That's not surprising, especially with refugees who have seen war. Nevertheless, I have to say that the overprotected princesses and princes are no more pleasant than the poorly integrated migrant children. Especially among them, there are those who don't know any hierarchical structures from home, which is difficult.

«Integration has to make sense.»

Monika C., teacher

Any teacher who claims that they never reach their limits is deluding themselves. I once had a third-grader who attacked others with drawing pins and was almost impossible to keep in check. Or a fifth-grader who drew how he was going to kill the whole class. It was later discovered that he suffered from Asperger's syndrome. I have nothing against the integration of such children - I've had Asperger's children in my classes and it worked really well - but integration has to make sense.

Bullying is not an issue in all classes, but it is quite common. I have also taken the liberty of doing something that was perhaps not entirely politically correct: I took the bullying child to one side and said: «I see what you're doing. It won't affect your grade - but it will affect my relationship with you.» Unfortunately, I have to say that it's rare for me to come across children who I can't understand why it's their turn. Of course, that doesn't mean you should let bullying pass. It's often more minor cases like teasing or making someone look stupid. Only once have I experienced a case in which a fifth-grader was blatantly bullied online. «Asshole» or «freak» were the nicer words that appeared on his Instagram profile. I then informed his parents and the school social worker. As a teacher, you can't solve something like that on your own.
I take a critical view of digital media, especially how they are used. What I don't understand is that many parents monitor their children's every move as soon as they leave the house. But they often have no idea what they are doing online. That's a paradox."

Read more:

• "When someone provokes me, I lose control," says 16-year-old Phillipp. Why he wants to get a grip on this now.
• Can parents prevent their child from committing offences? The well-known juvenile lawyer Hansueli Gürber talks about loving but consistent parenting.
• How should parents and teachers react when children shout, threaten or hit?
• «Mr Bauer, why do children react aggressively?» The neuroscientist explains in an interview why men commit more violent offences than women and what role the media plays.
• Why do children threaten their parents and what can they do?