My child, my smartphone and me ...

Small and large screens are not only mesmerising our children, but also us adults. Why we should change this and how we can do it.

In the playground, at nursery pick-up, in the living room: just checking your emails, replying to a WhatsApp message, checking the weather forecast. Again and again. Honestly, how often have you said to your child this week: «Hang on, I've got time for you in a minute, I just need to quickly ...»? The reach for the mobile phone is often automatic.
Recently, researchers from the German «Menthal Balance» project, who monitor the behaviour of 60,000 smartphone users via an app, discovered that each user switches on their smartphone 88 times a day. That's an estimated 8 hours of sleep, so every 10 minutes.
It is precisely this constant distraction that Basel paediatrician Cyril Lüdin recently criticised in an interview in this magazine: "When we are in contact with our child, we need to be emotionally and mentally involved. If we're on our smartphone, we're not really available. This means that even small children lack linguistic dialogue and therefore communicative skills." Other experts go further and also warn that children will develop lasting relationship problems if they do not receive enough attention from their parents.

Children feel neglected

In a «Digital Diaries» study, the Dutch internet security provider AVG asked 6,000 families from nine countries how mobile phones affect the relationship between parents and children. 54 per cent of children between 8 and 13 complain: «You're always looking at your mobile phone!», 32 per cent feel unimportant when their parents stare at the screen too often: «The mobile phone is more important to you than me.» Especially because parents keep looking at their mobile phones during conversations and joint activities.
There are good reasons for parents to regain control of their mobile phones. Perhaps my following tips will help you:

Öffnungszeiten: Schalten Sie die Benachrichtigungen über Neueingänge aus und checken Sie Ihre Arbeitsmails nur zu festgelegten und kommunizierten Zeiten. Ausnahmen sind möglich, aber nicht zu oft.
Ruhemodus: Versetzen Sie Ihr Handy in den Ruhemodus und lassen Sie es in der Tasche oder legen Sie es mit dem Bildschirm nach unten hin.
Informieren: Sagen Sie Ihrem Kind, was Sie am Handy tun und wie lange es dauert – und halten Sie sich auch daran.
Fokus: Notieren Sie kurz, was Sie am Handy machen wollen, bevor Sie es entsperren. Erledigen Sie dann auch nur das. Das mag umständlich erscheinen. Versuchen Sie, konsequent mit sich selbst zu sein, plötzlich wird es zum Automatismus.
Ehrlichkeit: Gestehen Sie Ihrem Kind Ihre Schwäche, dem Onlinesog nicht immer widerstehen zu können. Zeigen Sie ihm, wie man mit Schwächen umgehen kann.

On Medienstark you will find tips and interactive learning modules for the competent use of digital media in everyday family life. swisscom.ch/medienstark