«Help, my son likes to see me naked!»

Reader question:
My son, 13, finds it exciting to see me naked. I feel increasingly ashamed in front of him. What should I do?
Petra, 41, Brugg

Nicole Althaus:

My first tip: Be happy! Both your son's curiosity and your sense of shame prove that everything is going well in your family. That your son is developing into a young man with sexual interests and that you recognise him as such. My second tip: React calmly if your son surprises you naked, but make it clear to him that everyone needs privacy. Even the mum. And that the bedroom and bathroom have a door so that you can close them. And knock when it's closed.

Kathrin Buholzer:

Make sure that you always respect your son's privacy yourself. This is the only way you can ask him to do the same. Be honest and talk to him about your feelings. Make a few agreements with him on the subject of «privacy». You can also buy a door sign together or make one yourself. That way you can see straight away whether you can barge into the room or not, and you don't need a key. If you start locking yourself in, your son will never get the chance to deal with the issue properly.

Peter Schneider:

Prothesis: The boy could possibly become a good gynaecologist one day. Antithesis: You should take his feelings of shame seriously. Synthesis: Only allow him to do it on special occasions, for example when he has cleared the table and washed the dishes himself.

Nicole Althaus,
47, is a columnist, author and member of the editorial team at NZZ am Sonntag. She was previously editor-in-chief of "wir eltern" and initiated and managed the mum blog on "Tagesanzeiger.ch". Nicole Althaus is the mother of two children, 15 and 11.
Kathrin Buholzer,
42, is a journalist, parenting counsellor, operator of the parenting blog "www.elternplanet.ch" and mother of two daughters, 13 and 11.
Peter Schneider,
works as a psychoanalyst and columnist in Zurich. Until 2017, he was Professor of Developmental and Educational Psychology in Bremen; he currently teaches the history and scientific theory of psychoanalysis in Berlin.

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