Friendship: Our focus in the October magazine

How do children make friends and what makes a childhood friendship? This is our dossier topic in October. Editor-in-chief Nik Niethammer tells you what else you can expect in the cover film. He shares a very personal story in the text.

Dear reader

His name was Markus and he was my best friend. We walked to school together, annoyed ants in the forest and once nearly set fire to a house. We always imagined what we would do when we grew up: Eat chocolate until our stomachs burst. Watching «Starship Enterprise» all day long. Obey no one.
I was a shy boy and admired Markus for his courage and his brash mouth. He thought school was overrated, wore his hair long and often wore shorts even in winter. My friend was a snotty boy. Nowadays, his behaviour would be described as conspicuous and he would probably be taken in. Back then, he was just wild Markus.
Sometimes we got into fights, as good friends do, only to soon make up again. We were inseparable. Until the day something happened that still bothers me today. At the time, I was a passionate stamp collector and wanted nothing more for Christmas and my birthday than a set of Pro Juventute or Pro Patria stamps. The older, the more valuable. Markus suddenly held an envelope under my nose and my hands got wet when I opened it. There was a stamp in the envelope, a valuable specimen with a stamp and intact teeth. I don't know where he got it from. «Do you want it? - "Yes,» I said, electrified. «What do you want for it?» - «I don't know.» - «I'll give you my trainers. And my transistor radio.» - «That's not enough.» - «My roller skates. You can have my roller skates.» - «No,» said Markus. Then he took the stamp and tore the piece of paper in front of my eyes.

«Our friendship was no longer the same - I was deeply hurt.»

I felt faint, as if stunned. It was no big deal to him, he thought it was funny to scare me like that. Our friendship wasn't the same from that day on, I was deeply hurt. We later lost sight of each other. I don't know how Markus is doing today. I wonder if he still remembers the story with the stamp. And whether he is sorry.
Why am I telling you this story? It still haunts me, even though I was only ten at the time. It was a fundamental event in my still young life, partly because I hadn't managed to confront my friend and explain to him how much he had humiliated me. Friendships come and go, some stay. They are as varied as life itself.
This dossier is about friendships and the question of how they shape us and why they are so important for children's development. Psychologists Fabian Grolimund and Stefanie Rietzler show how a friendship allows us to expand ourselves. And they explain what parents can do if their son or daughter finds it difficult to get close to other children.
One of my favourite sentences in the dossier comes from Gabriel. When asked how he got to know his best friend Lovis, the five-year-old says: «I went to the crèche and he was there too. I can't help it, he's just my best friend.»
Yours sincerely - Nik Niethammer

Where can I get the new magazine?

The new magazine will be available at well-stocked Swiss newsagents from 8 October!
Take a look at the table of contents of the October 2018 issue (10/18) of the Swiss parents' magazine Fritz now.
Or simply order the issue online.