Feelings of guilt: Our topic in December

Dear reader
When we first met five years ago, Remo Largo seemed depressed. His health was not good. He was struggling with the fact that his many appeals and admonitions were rarely heeded. He said he felt there was hardly any will to change, especially in schools. In 2019, I saw the paediatrician and bestselling author («Babyjahre», «Kinderjahre») at a joint event in Zurich's Kulturpark, where he was once again very combative. He spoke to us parents, admonished and encouraged us for two hours and inspired the audience with his rhetorically brilliant, humorous style.
Remo Largo has been closely associated with this magazine since it was founded 19 years ago: «We have a great need for action to make Switzerland more family- and child-friendly. We need organisations like the Elternsein Foundation and the parenting guide Fritz+Fränzi to provide families with sustainable support. Fritz+Fränzi is one of the very few parenting magazines in the German-speaking world that takes children and parents seriously.»
Remo Largo died shortly before his 77th birthday. An important voice has fallen silent. On behalf of many parents, I would like to say thank you, dear Remo Largo. You took the pressure off us. And encouraged us to take a lighter approach to our children. In a personal obituary, Oskar Jenni and Bea Latal, Remo Largo's successors as Head of Developmental Paediatrics at Zurich Children's Hospital, bid farewell to their friend and role model.

«Only through self-determined experiences can a child develop into a person with good self-efficacy.»

Remo Largo (1943 - 2020), Swiss paediatrician
and author. We have summarised his most important statements for you as a tribute to a wonderful person.

How do feelings of guilt arise ? When are they justified? And when are they socially learnt? «In no other relationship is so much love and devotion required as in the relationship between parents and their children,» writes our author Jana Avanzini. «We care, comfort, nurture and yet we constantly ask ourselves the question: Are we doing enough? And above all, are we doing the right thing?» Before you read our dossier on the topic of guilt, I would like to remind you of the words of my favourite parenting expert, family therapist Jesper Juul: «Even good parents make 20 mistakes a day.» Isn't that reassuring?
Do you sometimes feel the urge to shout out loud in this crazy year? The endless pandemic. The family under constant stress. The impact on our children's mental health, well-being, education and health. So many worries, so many questions. To which Jan Kalbitzer, a German specialist in stress medicine, provides a comforting answer in Der Spiegel. «There's no doubt that children need special protection. But above all, they are incredibly tough and adaptable, especially when the people who are important to them provide them with a stable relationship and the necessary basic trust.»
So try to be a particularly reliable, trustworthy carer for your child during these times. Take their feelings seriously. And don't leave them alone.
With this in mind, I wish you a light heart. Relaxed days with your loved ones. Light on the horizon. Stay cheerful. And above all: stay hopeful.
Sincerely,
Your Nik Niethammer