Children's photos are private

I did it. I took a photo of my daughter and posted the picture. She was 14 years old at the time. At school, she took part in the «Challenge» project: two or more pupils planned a three-week trip on their own, set off on it and had to overcome all the problems on their own. The photo I took on her departure only showed her from behind. You couldn't really see more than a huge rucksack and two thin legs.

Why had I posted that? I had to learn to let go that day. I wanted to share this anxious moment on Facebook and promptly received lots of likes and encouraging comments. I would take the photo again at any time, but I wouldn't post it again - and I'm happy to explain why.

Why do we post photos at all?

Social networks on the Internet satisfy the same needs as social networks in real life. They fulfil our basic human desire for relationships. This is often easier online because it is possible to get close to people and keep them at a distance at the same time.

Social networks also allow us to participate in other people's lives - although this is never natural, but always a staging: we consciously want to show something, and not just show it, but also retain control over what and how we present it.

When we post something online, we want a reaction, at best applause, to make us feel good and validated.

This could be a philosophical thought, a political statement or even a photo of a child. No matter what it is: we want a reaction to it, at best applause to make us feel good or validated.

Most people ignore the fact that every post always has different levels: What we mean to show is not necessarily what others see in it. The posted picture of a 13-year-old who has won a race, for example, may have a completely different effect on parents with an overweight and unathletic child of the same age.

Children also have a right to their own image

Why do we thoughtlessly post pictures of children? I once asked this question at a lecture. The reactions were very muted. After a brief, embarrassed silence, a single mum spoke up and openly admitted that her 8-year-old son was the person she spent most of her time with.

If she were still together with her father, they could share beautiful and funny moments together. «I post to share these moments with my friends.» If this mum is trying to escape the loneliness she feels by going public, it's understandable, but also sad.

Some parents post photos of their children because they are proud: of the photo, of the situation, of the child or of themselves.

The operators can do whatever they want with our photos

We have long since forgotten that children also have personal rights and the right to their own image. However, this no longer seems to play a role, as anyone who wants to actively participate in social networks must accept the terms and conditions of use in order to have their extensive rights recognised.

The operators can do what they want with them, i.e. use our photos for advertising campaigns, for example.

What's more, hardly anyone wants to admit that other users could screenshot our images and misuse them for their own purposes. Or that future employers might later come across a wide variety of images of their applicants.

This fading out is everyday self-protection on the Internet, because without pushing such aspects aside, the only option would be to forego the most popular online offerings. In the «EU Kids Online: Switzerland 2019», 13 per cent of 11 to 16-year-olds say that parents or carers post information online «without asking me first whether I agree».

The Internet forgets nothing and we have long since lost control over our content on it.

Of these, 9 per cent asked for this content to be deleted again. That doesn't sound like much at first. But do these figures necessarily reflect reality? Firstly, not all children realise if, when and which things about them appear on Facebook or Instagram.

Secondly, in networks, but also on numerous parenting blogger sites, we mainly come across images of babies, toddlers and kindergarten children who don't realise it at first. Some parents even earn a lot of money by staging and marketing their offspring online.

The Internet forgets nothing

In my opinion, far more children and young people are anything but enthusiastic when we post photos of them. Many pupils in my workshops confirm this. Some may not be able to articulate it so well, but ultimately they feel this process is invasive and want to retain power over themselves and their bodies.

Some experts advise asking children from the age of twelve whether they consent to the posting of images. I don't think this makes much sense, as children and young people are not able to grasp the full extent of the problem in the same way as adults. And what should happen if they change their minds one day and ask us to delete these images? That will be very difficult. The internet forgets nothing and we have long since lost control over our content on it.

Don't raise your profile online at the expense of your children

Children's pictures do not belong online, but in the child's private sphere. Above all, it is a question of respect. Of course, photos can still be sent to relatives and friends, but profiling in the large online community at the expense of your own children should be avoided.

In addition, the constant posting of images has another side effect: it means that we no longer experience moments without the director in our head checking them for their potential usability on social media. This would then mean that our attention shifts and we degrade ourselves to chroniclers.