«At some point, enough is enough»
We tell
Chiara: «When we met 16 years ago, neither of us was looking for a steady relationship.»
Curdin: «We already liked each other. We often partied together.»
Chiara: «We had an agreement: if we bumped into each other when we went out, we'd go home together - but we wouldn't swap numbers.»
Curdin: «Then she called anyway.»
Chiara: «We've kept the light-heartedness from back then. We're childish and laugh a lot.»
Curdin: «Sometimes Chiara still runs onto the swings in front of the children. This unbridled cheerfulness is great. But she can also turn up the heat when we argue.»
Chiara: «Curdin learnt to argue with me. He didn't know how to address problems.»
Curdin: «That's right. I just don't like it when things get loud.»
Chiara: «We've developed a strategy against that: When the light is switched off in bed at night, everyone is allowed to say three things that they think could be improved.»
Curdin: «I work a lot in winter. I'm deputy technical manager at the cable car company and design the snow park for freestylers. Depending on the snowfall, I work late into the night or start at three in the morning. I work six days in a row.»
Chiara: «When I have to look after the children on my own, run the household and manage my 40 per cent job as a pharmaceutical assistant, I often run out of breath and nerves on day five.»
Curdin: «Unfortunately, I only have limited control over my working hours. The weather often throws a spanner in the works.»
Chiara: «Like on our daughter's birthday: he had to leave before the family arrived and wasn't back until before midnight. I could have gone up the wall.»
Curdin: «I love my job. But it hurts me to see how much Chiara has to deal with as a result.»
Chiara: «Curdin is so happy on the mountain, that makes me happy. But I still get frustrated sometimes: His job gives him a lot, I can't say the same about cooking and housekeeping. I like my job, but it's an organisational challenge when I'm alone at the helm at home. I enjoy spending time with the children, but even then I get fed up at some point.»
Curdin: «What helps us as a couple through the winter is the prospect of summer. Then I have normal working hours - and daddy day on Fridays.»
Chiara: «There's hardly ever any noise in summer.»
Curdin: «The fact that we don't have much time apart at the beginning of the year has an effect: we enjoy our time together.»
Chiara: «The fact that we're often apart in the cold months probably means that we love each other so much in summer. And we still can't keep our hands off each other - we both really enjoy that.»
Read more about being parents, staying a couple:
- What makes couples strong
Many people want a partnership for life. But crises usually occur halfway through at the latest: The daily grind and stress gnaw away at the relationship. How does love work in times of a multi-option society? - «An affair is not a declaration of bankruptcy»
Couples and sex therapist Helke Bruchhaus Steinert knows what can help to revitalise eroticism when sex has become rare in everyday parental life. And explains why intimacy should not be confused with fusion. - «It was a disaster»
Claudia*, 40, and Marco, 47, a medical practice assistant and technical draughtsman from Basel, tried out an open relationship. The experiment ended in chaos, but it was still instructive for the parents of a son, 12, and a daughter, 8. - «One big rollercoaster ride»
Sefora Cuoco, 28, a marketing coach and yoga teacher, and personal trainer Civan Oezdogan, 27, from Zurich have experienced the greatest happiness and the most painful abysses of life in three years as parents. - «Children move on, the partner stays»
Since becoming parents, Tabea Plattner, 43, and her husband Jonas, 45, from Hindelbank BE, have regularly takentime out as a couple. This has saved their love, say the musician and the agricultural scientist, parents of Janic, 21, Ramon, 20, Joel, 16, and Mauro, 14. - 5 tips for parents on maintaining relationships
Mums and dads often grow apart in everyday family life - find out what parents can do about it here. - The right way to argue and book tips
With the first child, the couple's relationship changes - and often becomes a partnership of convenience in the daily grind and stress. Find out here what parents can do to ensure that love and lust don't disappear and how to argue properly.